Saturday, November 4, 2017

Dr. Jim Meehan, M.D- .I will no longer vaccinate my children...

...I will no longer vaccinate my children...
...because I am a well trained medical doctor and former medical journal editor that has studied the vaccine research and analyzed both sides of the evidence.
...because I know how to read the medical literature, recognize bias and discern characteristics of good and fraudulent research.
...because I know that too much of the science supporting vaccines is fraudulent drivel bought and paid for by the vaccine manufacturers themselves.
...because I understand the risks of vaccination as well as the benefits of my children and grandchildren encountering and overcoming the wild type diseases naturally.
...because I know that diseases like mumps, measles, and chickenpox aren't dangerous and untreatable diseases that justify the risk of injecting toxic ingredients into the tissues of my children.
...because I have seen the evidence of neurotoxicity from ingredients like aluminum, polysorbate 80, human DNA and cellular residues from the human cells lines upon which many of the live viruses are grown.
...because I've seen vaccine manufacturers like Merck promote what they knew was bad medicine for profit, kill 60,000 patients with Vioxx, and I have no reason to believe that they wouldn't do the same thing with vaccines, especially when you consider they can't be sued when their vaccines maim or kill children.
...because I believe the vaccine industry has thoroughly corrupted the science and safety of vaccines.
...because I recognize the aggressive and unreasonable tactics of a multi-billion dollar pharmaceutical industry desperately working to maintain the illusion of vaccine safety, keep consumers consuming, grow their markets, and increase their profits.
...because I have met so many families whose children were stolen from them by the battery of vaccines administered at pediatric vaccine visits.
...because I believe the U.S. vaccination program has become a progressively dangerous assault on the health and lives of the children of America.
...because I am awake and aware, I will not vaccinate, nor will I remain silent as the pharmaceutical and medical industries pretends that vaccines are safe and effective..."
Dr. Jim Meehan, M.D

Thursday, November 2, 2017

Autism is not the saddest thing but it is one of them.

Each day I need to just write and get the stuff out of my head and in print.  I am told it will help with my healing.  I have anger issues and chronic back pain which writing is suppose to help. So I guess the random thing I am struggling with today is Autism.

Well,  today I would say Autism is not the saddest thing but it is one of them.

So, your kid isn't dying but they will never live on their own or take care of themselves.  60% of autistic kids are nonverbal. 

Milestones for a normal child is different than an milestone for an autistic child.  When Kelly does something I feel pain because I think how happy I would have been if he would have done this at 2 yrs old instead of at 6 yrs old.  With a normal kid you are happy when the milestones are hit early and with an autistic kid you become happier when the milestones are hit later because you thought it was never going to come at all.  This means you are happy when your 18 month old repeats I love you.  But you will be so filled with so much happiest that you will cry and your knees go weak when your 7 yr old says I love for the first time.  Because you never thought it would happen and there was a good chance that it wouldn't have happened at all. (I am still waiting for this day)  For many people it doesn't happen at all.

Finding out that your child is autistic is the saddest thing I have ever felt.  There is so much fear and worry.  Raising a child with Autism isn't so hard for everyone but the fear of who will take care of them when I die.  Will they be put in a home.  Will they understand why they are there and will they be mistreated.  Will they understand that they are there because we are all dead and does that scare them.
That is my fear because I can make their life happy and fun but I can only live so long.
I can't control what happens to them after I die and that is what is so terrifying about having a kid with Autism.

I then feel guilty because I have set Gray (my 10 yr old daughter) up for this life.  It is rare to be in a family with someone who is mental disabled and it is double rare to have two mentally disabled brothers.  There is a part of her life she will have no say over.   She will have to live in a home taking care of her two adult brothers.  I am sorry.  I am sorry that my husband has 2 sons with autism and this is not the life he wanted for himself.   He never wanted kids and I gave him 2 kids that will never leave us.  I am sorry to myself because I crippled myself for 19 months with chronic pain that was caused from fear, worry, and  because I didn't want to admit this to myself and the people I know.

I didn't want people to believe it was genetic.  You can't have a genetic epidemic.  And people will see us and assume that is what causes it but it doesn't.  We need to look at the mother's of the autistic kids instead of the kids. The toxic environment in which the baby is in while developing is the problem.  Our wombs are toxic and some kids can't take the toxic levels and it causes brain damage or the brain not to develop.  These kids are then not able to handle toxins when they are born.  Where other kids can get a bunch of shots and are fine because their body can handle the toxins an autistic child can't handle toxins and so they get fevers, vomit, and have watery poop.  They scream for hours and they then develop tics and loose language.  Each time they are exposed to a toxin they could get sicker and the autism could get worse. So it isn't that babies get sick after the shots and become autistic as a side effect.  I believe they are autistic and suffer the side effect of the sickness and then tics because they are autistic and exposed to the toxins.  So if your kid gets very sick after a shot it isn't that the shot caused it but exposed it.  But an autistic kid shouldn't be exposed to toxic things because they can't filter them out like a normal kid.  They can't even handle wheat and casein so they really shouldn't have any poisonous shots into their system. But I know others who have had different out comes with shots like death or permanent injuries. So I am just speaking for me. 

 https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/newborn-babies-chemicals-exposure-bpa/

https://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2009/12/31/232-toxic-chemicals-found-in-10-babies.aspx




Monday, October 16, 2017

How did I get here?

How did I get here?  How did I become a 40 year old home schooling crunchy Jewish mom.  I read the back of every label that I buy.  I use a filter to remove everything from my water, I bring my own bags to the store, use only planet based products, and I learned to heal myself from chronic back pain.  I am also a troop leader for my daughter's scout troop and I raise 2 autistic sons.  Did I say I home school three kids while working from home and living with Borderline personality disorder.  This may sound normal for other people but this is not who I thought I would me.
I was never this kind of person before I had kids but really before I had autistic kids.  I use to make fun of all natural people and don't get me start on the quacks that home school their kids.  Now, I am everything I never wanted to be and I am just learning how to be the new me.  This new me is the person who I am becoming against my will and writing this is to help me find my way in this new world that I am now a  reluctant member of.

So why am I this person if it is everything I don't want?
Because my kids have needs that the environmental poisoning is causing.
Because I suffered with chronic pain for 16 years.
Because  my daughter needs a mother who is a part of her life.
Because I need to live a healthier life to take care of my sons who may not ever be independent enough to take care of themselves.

I think the best place for me to start is by looking at the different self descriptors I have.  My story isn't more painful or sadder than other people's tales but I have to write it down to help with my anger management which keeps my chronic pain away. 
Really, the way I saw my life when I was younger was very different.  I thought I would travel a lot and I have.  I thought I would have 2 kids and pick up take out on the way home from picking them up from school.  I worried about how many states away my kids would move and if I would know my grand kids.  That was my life all laid out the way I wanted it.  Now, my worries are who will take care of the boys when we die?  Will they be put in a home for over 30 years?  What if my daughter doesn't want to care for them or her family doesn't want to?  What if they get cancer from not being able to get rid of toxins all because I give in and let them eat non organic gluten filled meals with a soda.  Those kinds of thoughts leads me to stay up all night researching saunas for detoxing, foods to help detox, and vitamins with folate and not folic acid.  This causes days of anxiety.  I feel that I need to solve the future's problems right now.  Just maybe if I find the right vitamin or super food or remove the right food from their diet then their inability to understand language will just be cured.  Maybe, they will be the lucky ones who go on to have normal lives with wives and kids.  It is more likely that they will live with me until I die and then they will be cared for by their sister.

"You can handle anything in the moment.  It is the fear of what might happen that undoes us." 

The fear of one day sitting back and thinking I could have done something or changed something a long the way and things would have turned out different and for the better.  I know that if it all turned out great I am 100% sure it will be because I worried this much.    If it turns out the same way it has been going thus far then I will feel I could have done something.  When will I know when to turn in the towel and let it go.  I think when they are adults I will feel like it is over and there will not be a miracle cure or just a sudden learning growth. But I am far away from that and I can't live life this unhappy and worried about the future.  I am missing out on the right now.

So now I have to start quieting my brain down.  I need to stop the anxiety so I can handle all these things I need to do and for the fight for what is best for my family.  I plan to just write down whatever I am thinking each day and see if I can work on it all one issue at a time.

Yes, you would have been a Nazi.

 People often say that if they lived in Nazi Germany that they would not have gone along with the Germans.  They would have known it was wro...