Skip to main content


Day 7 Fate - Good or bad hard to say

Fate.  When people say they leave it up to fate it sounds so positive.  People with BPD Boardline personality disorder don't see the positive right away.  I hear fate as a negative force.  Fate is chaos that can wipe out a family.  I have to do something to be ready to fight off fate.  Believing fate is believing the heavens will line up your life so that it is good.  I would get mad at the people who are so arrogant to think their world is plotting to make everything line up just for them.  Yet most people say it ,so the world is just arrogant.  I think it is meant to be neutral.  It does not favor anyone and no one thinks it does.  They are saying that what ever happens is going to happen and could good or bad it is out of my control so I will see what will come that is unexpected and then decide if it is good or bad.   Because good or bad, hard to say.

Good or bad - hard to say
This goes back to sometime something happens and you think how bad this is but it makes you have to d…

Dr.Jordan B Peterson quotes to manage life

You only get to the furture by learning from the past and living the present as you want the future to be. 

If you fulfill your obligations everyday, you don't need to worry about the future

Don't say things that make you weak

Remind yourself of the good things you have accomplished

Don't let your kids be someone you don't like

You are not who you could be and you could be worthwhile.

Don't do things that you hate because you will take it out on others, even if you think you wont

Be grateful even in your suffering

Act so you can tell the truth about the way you act

You need to live independently of the good and bad opinions of others

Do not try to save someone who isn't asking to be saved

Opportunity lurks where responsiblity has been abdicated

Don't avoid something because it is frighting if it stands in your way

Imagine who you could be and then aim single-mindedly toward that. 

If you can't order your own life you shouldn't order anything more th…

The true value in life

There isn't enough women CEOs  - Then go be one yourself or sit down.

I am so tried of Buzzfeed and Huff Post saying things like "There isn't enough women CEOs or in Steam.  The problem isn't that there isn't more women in high power jobs the problem is we are making a society that doesn't value women who take care of their families.  A lot of women do not get a choice and have to work but for those who can choose to raise their family themselves instead of hiring someone to do it are very lucky and I wish every woman including myself was so lucky.  We say how unimportant your job will seem when you are on your death bed yet we all spend every moment we are a live judging people by their careers.  A good family that you put first is more important than what you do for a job.  The job just gives you money but a family gives you a reason to live.  I pledge now not to ask people about what they do for a living but to ask about their family, the things that actual…

Day 5

Why does G-d let people die?  A lot of people when trying to prove a point to a believer is to point out that innocent people died before their time.  Why would G-d let kids die?  Well, for me at this point in my live I have a new view on it.  For those that believe in an afterlife or if you believe in a new life being reborn here on earth, if you believe in that then why would you believe that G-d would think that your child dying was a bad thing that he must stop?  Why would going to him and being in perfect peace and love be something he should save kids from?   When you grieve remember it is a selfish act.  I am not saying you are selfish but that it is natural and human to be selfish and want your loved ones with you.  It is very human to be in pain but maybe G-d is on a level that is higher than your understanding and he doesn't see people coming home to him or being reborn and moving forward with their journeys as a terrible horrible thing.  I am sure he wants everyone to h…

Day 4

Want to know what it is like to be an autism mom.  Well, when someone you love dies you are hit with all that pain in one shot.  When your kid has Autism it is like you grieve a tiny bit everyday.
Everyday the hope that they will say mom today.  Who am I kidding I would be happy with any word.  Any word at all.  But he won't be saying any words today and knowing this makes your throat close up.
Maybe he will answer to his name.
Maybe he wont bang his head on the floor until I have to hold his arm down by his side and he fights to get away and start banging again.
Maybe one day they will go to the normal classes at school.
Maybe go to prom, drive a car, get a job, or have a family.
Every day you start to see that none of that will happen for him.  So, you grieve for the lost of the life he could have had.  Now, I hope I will be able to trust him when he is a grown man alone at the store when I need to go to the restroom.    I count out how old he will be when I am in my seventies b…

Day 3

I am not writing everyday.  I know it would help but the truth is I think about what I am should write in such detail that I don't feel up to writing after I am done thinking.  But they say writing it is a better way to get it out or to release your burden. So I guess today I am thinking about how I am ill prepared to be a parent.  I didn't have a good example so I don't know what I am doing.  I spend every moment worried about them now and their future.  I worry I will do this wrong and when they are older they will have a list of everything I did wrong.  I am worried I will give them scars or I will be a great mom and they will be crushed when I die.  I see that in people.  Their mom dies and it breaks them and they carry that hurt everyday.  I never want my kids to hurt.  I never want them to cry or be sad over losing me.  I can't control the future or how they will feel about their childhood and that worries me and breaks my heart.  I cry and feel sick to my stomac…

Dr. Jim Meehan, M.D- .I will no longer vaccinate my children...

...I will no longer vaccinate my children...
...because I am a well trained medical doctor and former medical journal editor that has studied the vaccine research and analyzed both sides of the evidence.
...because I know how to read the medical literature, recognize bias and discern characteristics of good and fraudulent research.
...because I know that too much of the science supporting vaccines is fraudulent drivel bought and paid for by the vaccine manufacturers themselves.
...because I understand the risks of vaccination as well as the benefits of my children and grandchildren encountering and overcoming the wild type diseases naturally.
...because I know that diseases like mumps, measles, and chickenpox aren't dangerous and untreatable diseases that justify the risk of injecting toxic ingredients into the tissues of my children.
...because I have seen the evidence of neurotoxicity from ingredients like aluminum, polysorbate 80, human DNA and cellular residues from the human …