Why does G-d let people die?

Why does G-d let people die?  A lot of people when trying to prove a point to a believer is to point out that innocent people died before their time.  Why would G-d let kids die?  Well, for me at this point in my live I have a new view on it.  For those that believe in an afterlife or if you believe in a new life being reborn here on earth, if you believe in that then why would you believe that G-d would think that your child dying was a bad thing that he must stop?  Why would going to him and being in perfect peace and love be something he should save kids from?   When you grieve remember it is a selfish act.  I am not saying you are selfish but that it is natural and human to be selfish and want your loved ones with you.  It is very human to be in pain but maybe G-d is on a level that is higher than your understanding and he doesn't see people coming home to him or being reborn and moving forward with their journeys as a terrible horrible thing.  I am sure he wants everyone to have a long happy life but free will and laws of nature are the working forces on this earth and I think  G-d lets us have free will even if it is to kill.  He can't take away some's free will to save someone else.  He can't change the laws of nature to save someone's life.   He can't change the heart of someone who's heart he doesn't live in.  With that I mean that people will say that they pray that G-d would change the heart of someone else but he can't change someone if he doesn't live in them.  They have to use their free will to let him change their heart and mind.  G-d couldn't have stopped Hitler or Stalin because G-d didn't live in them.  But you will see G-d in those who he lives in.  Doesn't matter which name you call G-d or what religion you are in but if G-d lives in you the world can see it.  G-d didn't sit back and  do nothing during the Holocaust.  He guided the hearts of many people to help and to armies all over the plant to step up and put a stop to it.  But that doesn't mean that G-d sees the death of 6 million people the same as we here on earth do.  He would be welcoming them home or giving them a fresh start at a new life.  Either way he may not see it as the painful event we see it as.  So G-d not saving people's lives isn't to me proof that he isn't real. Don't get me wrong I don't believe G-d takes lives either.  Some will say he called someone home but I don't think so because again free will would be taken away. I think he would let us live and then life happens and people suffer or die.  Sometimes both.  But G-d lives inside every person who allows it and works in our heart to help, to love, to share, and to be G-d's hand on this earth.  I do not understand everything about this earth and there is to much unknown for me to cross anything off so I will choose to believe because at the end of the day it helps me and that is something we all need.  A way to get thru the day.
I guess I can apply this to my own life as well.  Maybe G-d sits so far up and doesn't have a society with standards so he doesn't think that Autism is a big deal.  G-d would probably think it was no different then the rest of us.  Maybe G-d would think I was crazy for being so worried and sad about my sons.  I think of G-d the way he is written about in the song "G-d is watching"

From a distance you look like my friend
Even though we are at war
From a distance I just cannot comprehend
What all this fighting is for
From a distance there is harmony
And it echoes through the land
And it's the hope of hopes
It's the love of loves
It's the heart of every man
It's the hope of hopes
It's the love of loves
This is the song for every man

God is watching us
God is watching us
God is watching us from a distance

Want to know what it is like to be an autism mom?

Want to know what it is like to be an autism mom.  Well, when someone you love dies you are hit with all that pain in one shot.  When your kid has Autism it is like you grieve a tiny bit everyday.
Everyday the hope that they will say mom today.  Who am I kidding I would be happy with any word.  Any word at all.  But he won't be saying any words today and knowing this makes your throat close up.
Maybe he will answer to his name.
Maybe he wont bang his head on the floor until I have to hold his arm down by his side and he fights to get away and start banging again.
Maybe one day they will go to the normal classes at school.
Maybe go to prom, drive a car, get a job, or have a family.
Every day you start to see that none of that will happen for him.  So, you grieve for the lost of the life he could have had.  Now, I hope I will be able to trust him when he is a grown man alone at the store when I need to go to the restroom.    I count out how old he will be when I am in my seventies because I don't know who will care for him when we are gone.  Will they spend 40 yrs in a house for disabled people?  Will it be a good place?  Will they be abused.  It happens I see it on the news with elderly care.
Is it even right to ask my daughter to care for not one but maybe 2 brothers who will not be able to drive themselves or calm themselves when they are upset.  I don't want to stealing from her the ability to pick her own lot in life. 

An ill prepared parent

I am not writing everyday.  I know it would help but the truth is I think about what I am should write in such detail that I don't feel up to writing after I am done thinking.  But they say writing it is a better way to get it out or to release your burden. So I guess today I am thinking about how I am ill prepared to be a parent.  I didn't have a good example so I don't know what I am doing.  I spend every moment worried about them now and their future.  I worry I will do this wrong and when they are older they will have a list of everything I did wrong.  I am worried I will give them scars or I will be a great mom and they will be crushed when I die.  I see that in people.  Their mom dies and it breaks them and they carry that hurt everyday.  I never want my kids to hurt.  I never want them to cry or be sad over losing me.  I can't control the future or how they will feel about their childhood and that worries me and breaks my heart.  I cry and feel sick to my stomach most of the time over this.  After I talk with my kids I worry about every word I said and replay every word over and over in my head.  I make myself sick with this worry.  I try to remember I am not G-d and I can't control how any one else sees the world or how they see me.  Man, I hate that fact the most because I want to control that.  I want to know what they think of their childhood and I want them to see it the way I want them to see it.  I want them to think they were loved beyond measure because they are.  I want them to always feel safe and loved at home with their family.  I want them to feel lucky to have had such a great childhood.  They never have to worry about going without, getting free food from G-d's pantry, getting their coat from the lost and found or getting donated clothes, like I did.   The truth is that the boys, I don't worry about because I feel they will not look to closely at they childhood but my daughter is different.  I worry she will not grow up knowing it was all for them.  Every party, every trip, every thing I do is for them even the things I screw up and get wrong.  I want her to know that I tried.  Her mom tried even when she messed up, I was trying be a good mom.  I don't know how to be a good mom and so I am walking around lost not knowing what to do but trying my best to do what is right.  But who knows what "right" is.  I feel like everyone knows what right is but me.  I worry I will teach them morals that prepare them for a world that don't exist any more.  The morals I grew up learning aren't around any more and I really don't like the new direction we are moving in as a society.  So do I teach them the old morals that are out of date or teach them the new ones that I don't agree with.  My husband says teach them what we believe and let them sort out what to keep and what to toss as they deal with the world.  But I can't do that because I know some people hold on to believes they get from their parents no matter what.  That sounds like a good thing but it isn't because the world changes a lot every 10-20 years and I don't want them being hated by society because of out dated believes I gave them.  I can't control that and I can't control the future that they will grow up in but I want to so much it pains me.  Man, I have a control issue.