Want to know what it is like to be an autism mom?

Want to know what it is like to be an autism mom.  Well, when someone you love dies you are hit with all that pain in one shot.  When your kid has Autism it is like you grieve a tiny bit everyday.
Everyday the hope that they will say mom today.  Who am I kidding I would be happy with any word.  Any word at all.  But he won't be saying any words today and knowing this makes your throat close up.
Maybe he will answer to his name.
Maybe he wont bang his head on the floor until I have to hold his arm down by his side and he fights to get away and start banging again.
Maybe one day they will go to the normal classes at school.
Maybe go to prom, drive a car, get a job, or have a family.
Every day you start to see that none of that will happen for him.  So, you grieve for the lost of the life he could have had.  Now, I hope I will be able to trust him when he is a grown man alone at the store when I need to go to the restroom.    I count out how old he will be when I am in my seventies because I don't know who will care for him when we are gone.  Will they spend 40 yrs in a house for disabled people?  Will it be a good place?  Will they be abused.  It happens I see it on the news with elderly care.
Is it even right to ask my daughter to care for not one but maybe 2 brothers who will not be able to drive themselves or calm themselves when they are upset.  I don't want to stealing from her the ability to pick her own lot in life.